There are various types of intimacy that ebb and flow in and out of every one of our personal relationships. Emotional intimacy is the psychological connection in a relationship that allows both parties to feel secure and safe to express vulnerability. It is essential in strong, stable relationships, and helps to lay the foundation for other types of intimacy – like physical, intellectual, and spiritual, to flourish.
Emotional intimacy is also a vital aspect of the sexual relationship and interests two people share and helps to create a deeply connected bond. Humans were made to need intimacy in various ways which helps people to feel more cherished by their partner.
To help build emotional intimacy in a relationship, consider these helpful activities and suggestions.
- Communicate Openly. Open communication allows both people to build trust, empathy, and connection. Honest communication provides no guesswork, extra stress, or misunderstandings. Practicing open communication is a learned skill, that also involves becoming an active listener, and both are beneficial to any relationship.
- Make new memories & try new experiences together. Trying something new that neither partner has experience with can not only be a fun time, but it could also be fun at entirely messing up the “new” skill or project you are doing! “Messing up,” or showing your flaws and your most vulnerable areas, allows you both to feel more connected.
- Share stories and memories. Emotional intimacy means learning how your partner thinks and feels things. Every human gets embarrassed, excited, and drawn to different things. Sharing special memories or moments from the past, old times, or childhood, and why they are so important to you can help to create closer bonds and links to the past, present, and future.
- Laugh. A lot. “Laughter is the best medicine!” is one of the best and truest quotes out there. Laughing helps to reduce stress, tension, anxiety, and anxious minds. Laughing also helps to build and solidify bonds while making new memories.
- Be affectionate. Showing affection for another through physical acts, acts of thoughtfulness, or completing tasks that you’ve been asked to do can help your partner to feel valued. Affection does not mean intimacy or sex, but it does suggest a certain closeness. Holding hands, cuddling, and reminiscing can all help boost the affectionate flames. Nonsexual displays of affection show your partner that their value goes far beyond what they bring to the partnership, which increases overall security and safety in a relationship.
- Learn something new about your partner. Taking time out of your busy schedule to spend time with your partner helps to build emotional intimacy but being proactive in doing so to help build emotional intimacy is gold. Make the decision to learn something new every time you are with your partner. Practicing this goal also means you will be giving your partner sustained attention and connection to better understand who they are. Consider asking questions to help deepen conversation and communication topics. Read our article, Emotional Intimacy: How can I Connect with my Partner? For more questions to cover.
- Respect each other’s individuality, boundaries, and desires. When someone does not feel respected, supported, or safe in a relationship it can be a huge barrier preventing emotional intimacy to grow. Setting and discussing boundaries, wants, needs, desires, and dislikes regarding life, intimacy, sexual needs, and more are a vital aspect of new and “well-aged” relationships.
Strengthening emotional intimacy is not an immediate change and requires consistent, hard work from both parties involved.
Citations:
van Lankveld J, et al. (2018). The associations of intimacy and sexuality in daily life.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5987853/
National Institute of Health and Human Services
The Intimacy Institute