Sexual dysfunction, heavy on the erectile dysfunction for men, are on the top of the side effect list for chemotherapy, radiation therapy, radical cancer surgeries & treatment, heavy medications for life-long conditions, chronic illness, and more.
Sexual intercourse and intimacy, thankfully, do not occur in only “one” set way. There are many paths to pleasure and back again, although these paths may be slightly different “terrain” than you are used to. By empowering yourself with information about your medical conditions and the problems you are encountering with sexual function, you can work on salvaging and taking back the pieces of intimacy and sex that you enjoy and desire the most. Sexual dysfunction is a very personal, private issue, but millions of people- men and women included- are going through and struggling with these very same issues daily.
Work on opening your mind and perspective to learn about alternative methods and paths to pleasure.
Question #1: “Over time, I have lost the ability to maintain a full erection. Sometimes I can achieve a partially hardened erection. What can I do?”
With the natural, slow progression of the loss of erection ability with age, there are some things you can do for support and to prolong your erection function. Support rings and cages, supporting girth enhancers, penis pumps or hollow strap on devices could help you.
Support rings go by many names, but essentially serve the same purpose. Using lubrication and sliding the ring on to the penis towards the base of the body, can help hold the blood in the penis and can help achieve a temporary, full erection. Support cages provide extra support for the penis shaft, thusly making penetration possible. If you are planning to use a support cage for penetration, be sure to get a material that is strong, yet gentle enough not to cause damage to sensitive tissue. Supporting girth enhancers add a little width to the penile shaft, giving your partner a “fuller” sensation.
The Super Stretchy Erection Ring set would be a great starting set to help you work to overcome your erection issues. These extremely stretchy silicone rings are seamless and very durable. These rings can provide erection support at the base of your shaft and provide girth as well. Support rings are used by many men to aide in the duration and hardness of their erections. By using a high-quality lubrication like Sliquid’s Water-Based Lube, you also ensure that your skin will stay hydrated, moisturized, and pliable- which is very important after cancer treatments. Sliquid offers amazing lubrication designed to help to heal and nourish the skin.
Penis pumps can be used to help achieve a temporary full erection. By inserting the penis into a pump and building the pressure, the blood vessels in the penis help to create an erection. This device can help you to overcome some erection problems. Using a support ring at the base of the penis during this process is key, as the blood held in the shaft will be trapped, which helps maintain the erection. Penis pumps do not provide a permanent fix, nor do they overly enlarge the penis. All penis pumps have safety release valves and can be dismantled to clean.
One of the most beneficial pumps on the market is the BathMate Water Penis Pump. This pump works in the bath, shower, or bedroom with a 95% success rate. By harnessing the natural powers of water to support the natural erection of your penis, this device is extremely pleasant and gentle to use. Designed for penises that are seven inches or less, this BathMate helps to keep your penis in top health and to restore lost function. The BathMate pumps can add up to two inches in length and increase your girth by up to forty percent (BathMate/CalEx).
Hollow strap on devices is made as a wearable belt, with a hollow penis with a super soft liner for inserting. Flaccid, semi-erect, or more, with some lubrication, you slide your penis into the hollow portion. This allows you to connect with your partner in a more usual way, possibly more like you were used to before medical chaos changed your life. Strap on devices come in a multitude of sizes and skin tones.
The wearable penis extenders or hollow jock straps can be a very beneficial tool for those dealing with severe erectile dysfunction or loss of erection on any level. This jock strap allows you to insert your penis into the hollow strap-on device and still enjoy intimate time and sexual activity with your partner. The extra supportive, ultra-thick straps allow for a secure fit and the strong hollow tube provides amazing shaft support. This hypoallergenic jock strap is made of durable silicone with no scents or extras and is phthalate free. These straps are easy to clean. This device is made to be empowering for men who feel they have lost a part of themselves with the changes in their erection ability.
Question #2: “After chemotherapy treatment and surgery, I can no longer achieve an erection. I do, however, still feel everything and pleasure often. Is there anything out there to help achieve an orgasm without needing an erection?”
Yes! In recent years, there have been products made especially for those suffering from erectile dysfunction for whatever reason. The male masturbator is specially designed to be a one- or two-handed use & extremely real feel device made for those dealing with erectile dysfunction at any level. It relies solely on the suction the motion of squeezing done by one hand creates, and inside the tube is where the magic begins. Some are hand pressure only, and others use batteries or electricity to give a bit more power boost. Using lubrication, the penis- flaccid or not- can be gently ‘sucked’ into the device, and you can immediately find a rhythm and pattern of squeezes that feels the best.
Question #3: “After my medical treatment, it feels like I am living in someone else’s body. I just want to get to know & help my body work again. Where do I even begin?”
Start with yourself! Self-care is always the best place to begin, especially in chaotic and medically stressful situations. It is extremely overwhelming to lose your sexual abilities and function, or the desire to be intimate at all. Rather than immediately starting with an overwhelming therapy or strenuous device, just use your hands and some quality lubrication. Relax your body and mind by turning on your favorite music, dimming the lights, and being with yourself for a bit. Good feelings of pleasure will release endorphins, often triggering happy memories of other pleasure filled times. As you work your way around your body, note the places that feel good, and those that trigger pain or negative feelings. Once you are comfortable with your body, then you can move to the next step of inviting your partner to review your list of “good” and “negative” touch places. Not only does this give you a safe, stable place to re-start with intimacy at, it also helps to open the communication lines between you and your partner created by the disconnect of sexual dysfunction.
Find more resources in our article index covering men’s issues with sexual dysfunction.
Citations:
National Institute of Health and Human Services
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
CalExotics
Zero Tolerance
PPA Jock Strap
Sliquid
Empowering Intimacy